Including me. Here is the deal, women intentionally or unintentionally lead one another astray for all the right reasons. They want to help, they want clicks on their articles, they want to be known as an “expert”, heck, they may even want others to learn from their own mistakes.
These misguided attempts to “help” are actually hurting women. I recently read the top two articles that appeared under the Google search “relationship advice for women”. The first was written by a woman (Article #1), the second was written by a man (Article #2). Let’s compare the two.
Article #1 – 25 Pieces of Empowering Relationship Advice for Women
Article #2 – 16 Pearls Of New Relationship Advice For Ladies By A Man
Stating the obvious, the feminism in Article #1 is visible by the title alone; use of the words “empowering” and “women” versus “pearls” and “ladies”. In my opinion, the ladder is more feminine which goes to show the difference in the genders of the authors and how they view women. Not to mention that the female author has 25 pieces of advice for women and the male has just 16.
Let’s highlight a few differences in the advice given.
Live Your Own Life vs. Don’t Be Afraid to Be Bored
Article #1 states that you shouldn’t give up doing the things you enjoy doing. Sure, if you like cooking, by all means, keep on cooking once you are in a new relationship. However, if you like going to girls night out and going bowling with your 4 male co-workers every Thursday night, this is horrible advice. Women fail to advise women that healthy habits are the ones to be maintained and the not-so-good-for-your-relationship ones, should be left behind. Once the new-ness wears off, it’s OK to be a bit bored in your relationship. Men like repetition and knowing what to expect from their women. Women make the mistake of thinking that throwing them surprises and changing their behavior (or look) will “spice things up”, when in reality, more often than not it just makes men suspicious.
Speak Your Mind vs. Don’t Nag
Two polar opposite points of advice. Women tell one another to speak up, constantly share, express concerns and be heard! What the female author fails to advise is HOW to speak your mind. HOW to express points of conflict. She says to be calm and “you deserve respect” but not about how to express themselves RESPECTFULLY to their man. There is not a short supply of loud mouth women out here demanding to be respected and heard. There are a limited number of women who take the advice of Linda Doyle’s book “The Submissive Wife” about how and when to voice your opinion, how to pick your battles, when to just keep it to yourself, and how to speak up while showing respect for your man. The Do’s and Don’ts of speaking one’s mind will make or break a relationship.
Don’t Try to Change Him vs. Don’t Expect Them to Change
Same thing, right? Not even close. While both are actually good advice, the female author fails to point out an important truth – that if you can change your man, you won’t be as attracted to him anymore. Women fall for guys for what they are: strong, masculine, disciplined, motivated, etc yet will try their subconscious damndest to pull the men into their bad habits such as terrible diets, drinking, skipping workouts, sleeping in late, etc. They will ask them to change their hair or beard grooming style, or how they dress and turn them into something they are bored with because they realize that he is no longer leading the relationship and is weak to feminine influence. The male author, rather, says flat out – If you want him to change, he’s not the one for you. They both agree that behavioral change is temporary. The truth is, you can’t fix people. It’s a waste of time.
Become The Person You Want To Attract vs. Remember That No One Is Perfect
So…you shouldn’t try to change him but you should change yourself? This only works short term. Once the new-ness wears off and you pretended to be a high RMV female, as the female author advises, it’s OK to stop pretending and go back to being the basic bitch you started off as? That’s GREAT advice. Better, know thyself. The male author reminds women that no one is perfect, including yourself. Men don’t run around looking for women with tons of “self-love”. Men see this as self importance, conceited and overall not feminine, nor attractive. Yes, a woman should take care of herself and respect herself. Every person should. But “becoming” something you are not is the opposite of “self love”. Did she even read what she wrote?
I could continue to compare these two but it doesn’t take more than a scan through each article to identify the better advice. If advice tells you what you WANT to hear rather than what is hard to hear or that you NEED to hear, it’s likely bad advice. If the advice offends you, it is probably hitting you in the truth and it’s time to self-reflect before getting angry.
The best advice from women for women is given by a woman who is led by a strong man in a successful long term relationship. That is a true red pilled woman. Otherwise, listen to men on what men really want in a woman and in a relationship. You’ll find it is much more clear cut advice that is easy to follow without all the double speak.
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Thanks for reading,
Devon