Work is a reality for the majority of women in today’s society. You don’t have to be a ‘high power career woman”, but odds are you have to go to work every day. The office can be a mine field when it comes to managing your looks and how your actions are perceived.
I can’t reveal what I do or for how long I’ve been doing it, but I can relay some of the things that I have learned and how I’ve navigated those waters. Now this is advice given you don’t have a work uniform or special garments for work. Here are some rules my man has created that I willingly follow. I have gotten promotions and I am paid well. None of these rules have hurt my performance or how others perceive me in the work place. If anything, it’s helped.
Don’t Shower Before Work
I shower AFTER work. I want to be fresh and clean for my man. He deserves the best me. Yes, I will even redo my make up and put on something sexy just for him if he so desires.
No Cleavage
Whether it’s a modest knee length dress for a client meeting or an everyday blouse, no V-necks, no button downs, or any other types of shirts that reveal anything lower than a normal necklace line. I’m there to work, not flash the goods.
Nothing above the Knee
Dresses, skirts, etc. No skorts, no shorts. Capri’s, leggings (with a tunic/long top) and jeans or pants are fine. Makes a lot of sense. Many don’t even think about it. If you do wear a knee length dress or skirt, wear pantyhose!
No High Heels
Ballet flats, sneakers, sandals, or whatever work allows other than high heels is the best choice. If you MUST wear heels consider dark or neutral tone block heel style shoes that have a strap. These don’t give off the same vibe as stiletto’s and tapered heels.
No Eye Liner, No Lipstick
Basic makeup is all you need in an office environment. There is no need to look like you are going out on a date to enter data or answer phones, or program PHP – whatever it is you do. Even if you are in a super professional expected environment, eye liner and lipstick is NOT necessary for success.
Put Your Hair Up
If your hair is long, twist it into a bun or wear a pony tail. Nothing says putting in hard work when your hair is out of your face and you’ve got business on the brain. Curling your hair before work or looking relaxed, sexy sends the wrong signals.
No Lunches/Travel with Men
I have turned down lunches with my own manager because he is male. I do not leave the office with a man. I do not go out to eat with a man other than my own. If there is a work event, I do not attend if he is not with me. Anything that needs to be spoken about can be in the office or via email. “Team building” is for single people. I don’t care if other women are in attendance, I decline the invitation. If we go offsite and a male is coming along, I take my own car. This cannot be stressed enough – DO NOT PUT YOURSELF IN ANY SITUATION TO BE ALONE WITH OR AT THE MERCY OF A MAN NOT YOUR OWN.
Your Coworkers Aren’t Your Friends
No work-husbands. No having lunch with a male coworker or taking walks together. This isn’t a buddy system, it’s a profession. Put you and yours first and foremost. Take your time opening up to women at work as well – TRUST ME on this. Avoid discussing your personal life with anyone other than upper management if necessary.
Once they were taking a department picture for a photo op for use on social medial. My reply “I’m not here to get my picture taken”. Zero argument or comment. I kept on working. Ended up getting promoted.
What you think is harmless, is a signal to men. If you want to be feminine, be feminine at home. You don’t have to be masculine – not at all. You can be kind, intelligent, generous, and a good leader without putting your physical assets on display. You will often find yourself more respected and more easily promoted because you don’t participate or put yourself in situations conducive to nonsense.
Thoughts? Please Comment!
Watch the How to Relationship Podcast on this topic